tampaknya gue kembali ke gue yang dulu ..
is it really easier to run? *sigh*
aqir2 ini gue entah kenapa sering ngerasa ga beres. tapi emang kayaknya it is easier to run and replacing with something numb.
setelah sabtu kemaren hunting DVD sampe mabok en beli playernya sekalian, gue tambah semakin membuat dunia gue sendiri. i run from the cruel world. it's funny coz i once i said that it's about how we deal with it. now unfortunately i can't deal with it myself.
yeah i thought i could face it but i can't. i give up.
today i just feel good. just feel good. coz yesterday i got this DVD. L'arc En Ciel AWAKE Tour 2005. i really feel excited about it. now i can refresh my days. last night i watch it. uuuhhhh......this Hyde is sssooo cool.... hounto ni kawaiii........ i enjoyed every moment in it. and this morning i watched it again to generate my spirit. it works .. hehehe.. i feel excited and full of energy this morning. yeah only this morning. i feel something's missing but i don't know what. *sigh*
dengan adanya tv, dvd player plus dvd se abreg2, gue ngerasa nyaman. i build my own world. gue tau itu ga bener tapi .. .. i can't think another thing to make my self comfort.
gue ga tau harus curhat dengan sapa. gue jadi ngerasain lagi rasanya ga punya temen. mmm... i have a lot of friends. many of them. tapi kenapa gue ngerasa ga punya ya. eh tapi sebenernya i never thought that they're friends.
what's the definition of friends anyway?!
on me, friend is person who we feel comfortable with. no matter what we do, we feel so much relax with them. that would be a friend.
gue ga bisa deskripsiin lebih baek lagi. temen ga perlu dicari. kalo cocok, pasti dengan sendirinya bakal menjadi teman. semua akan mengalir dengan sendirinya. meskipun dalam pertemanan itu kita pasti, absolutely, been through ups and downs. tapi pasti bakal baek lagi en tambah lebih dekat.
i once read some quote. i'm not sure the line excatly but it says about being yourself and if they're still like u, that would be great or something like that. gue langsung kena banget. i don't need change me (i didn't anyway) just to be accepted.
Itu seperti nge-jawab pikiran gue yang mulai pengen merubah gue sendiri (i'm not talk about improving my behave. that would be very different). abis kayaknya kan orang2 pada ga nerima gue. protes sana protes sini. trus gue liat deh tulisan itu. jadi bener juga kan kalo dipikir2. kalo emang ga suka, ya udah. this is me anyway..
uuuhhhh.........this me ..

eerrrr....what i'm talking about anyway???
*grins*

*sigh* i miss him .. he's been busy for a new office .. i know that but still i miss him .. hiks ..